When you have an unplanned global outage across all of your services for more than 3hours with no end in sight?

Younwipe over 50 billion dollars from your market capitalisation. That’s what! 🤣🤣

Fakebook is down! And by down I mean DOWN DOWN!!! All of the services from mister suckerbergs empire are down. No whatsapp. No looking at fake tits and plumped lips on Insta innit. And heaven forbid you’ll miss that meal picture update from Karen’s daughter from her holiday to Benidorm. It’s a complete disaster….. what the literal fuck are we all going to do with our evenings????

Big news. HUGE. You’re just not going to able to contain your excitement. Hold onto your hat. Billie Eilish will be headlining Glasto next year. That’s it. Crazy innit.  I need to take a day off just to get over it.

I mean well done to the girl. She managed to write down all that snowflake driven teenage angst into her home school diary and vomited it out to some tunes thrown together by her brother. But in all honesty, she’s not all that. We went to see her at Reading and she was basically standing onstage in her customary maudlin pose lip-syncing. LIP-SYNCING!!!!! If I wanted to see a good lip-sync I’d throw on an episode of Drag Race (actually much better than an angsty teenager imo)….

So there you have it. Billie Eilish @ Glasto 2021. Whoop-de-frigin-doo 🤪